2nd

2nd of may.
Morning-read story book
afternoon-stil playing game
night-stil playing game
But I do rmb smth happen tat night.
yeah!We went for a family dinner again.T.T
Haiz..
family dinner.
What I hate the most is they use their spoon to pick up/take/took
their food.
There was a spoon on the plate,why dun u jz use tat spoon ?
It turns out I only eat rice.
There was a plate of abalone in front of me.
Bt I dun eat it,coz it was disgusting!
yuck!
haiz...why can't we have family dinner on MC.D ? or we have buffet.
that wil be great!!
MC.D i'm lovin' it.

1st of may labour day

yea,1st of may is labour day.
Its sunday.
My grandmom knw I came back from kampar.
So she cook asam laksa.
WEE~~~
haha!!My ah ma asam laksa is the best
So touched that she cook asam laksa for me.
Time past so fast, I dun even knw what I had did.
1st of may jz ended up like tat.
did nth useful. XD
bt I'm hepi.

29th and 30th.

Its been almost a week my holiday had started.
It started from last Friday.
My ktm delay for 1 hour and 20mins, it make me reach home at 11.45,almost 12am midnight~~
I'm suppose to be here at 10.30 if the ktm din delay.
well,nvm.
Friday jz end up like tat,morning-study
                                    noon-exam
                                    night-ktm.
30/4/01(sat)
Woke up early in the morning jz wanted to have breakfast with my dad.
It's been awhile that I din hav breakfast with him.
Pity him have to take his breakfast alone.XD
Force myself to wake up althought I'm TIRED.
My dad said/sms me smth very touched,so this make me wan to
accompany him for breakfast.
I told him I had tried my best in my exam, and I dunno whether I wil pass or not.
Then he replied, nvm, as long as u had tried ur best,that's enuf.
^^ touched touched.
I saved the msg as memo.^^

In the noon, I hand out with my beloved frens.
We went to neway !!
reli hav a lot of fun with them.
Every1 had chg in physically and mentally.
HAHA!!
michelle bcum girl girl ad.
pkm bcum more mature
shireen bcum more gentle and cute.
shook ling bcum more talkative.
she talk quite alot that day, most of the time in the past she only ask question.
tat day she answered question.XD
and angel, jz met her for 30mins.
Hm.....same same.....

Went for a family dinner at night,dun eat much.
Hm....family dinner.....u knw?
jz like tat,nth to comment.
the old 1 talk and eat.
me (the young 1)
eat and look them talk,
jz like tat.

The end~~

Once a failure, forever a failure.

I felt so embarrassed about my results.
Its jz the matter of EGO.
I knw.
tis year wont be a gud year for me.
bcoz i hav to face my failure in this whole year or may 3/4 year.
yea, its long.
Dunno why i felt embarrassed about facing my own failure.
I hate it.!!!
feel like giving up.
bt I cant.
haiz..一失足成千古恨~

live in dream

I'm perfect in my dream. 

I have frens,

I have money, 

I have family, 

I have lover, 

I have gud apperance, 

I have great job, 

I speak well, 

Most importantly, I'm confident there. 

BUT once I woke up, my dream end. 

I hope I could live there, 

and this might be the reason why ,

ppl who lose consciousness "cnt" wake up....

mayb they're nt willing to wake up. 

Because they're having their perfect life in their dream 

while they're "sleeping".

Short term memory loss

I realize that my memories had become poorer, and sometimes I can't recall back smth clearly.

Mayb I faced short term memory loss, or maybe not. 

Memory loss is the inability to adequately store a particular memory. It is the failure to retain or recall the information.

Commonly also referred to as amnesia, memory loss can be described as a degree of forgetfulness or failure to recall past events which is above the normal level.

At times, memory loss is limited to an inability to recall events that are recent, but sometimes it could also be for events from the past or both.

And the reaason I faced this might be depression. 

Severe psychological stress can push a person beyond his/her coping abilities can cause memory loss among other mental disturbances. Research reveals that stress hormones kill or inhibit the growth of brain cells adversely affecting memory. The more prolonged the depression, the more extensive the damage.

I 4gt what I said to my fren yesterday and I can't recall back. 

I 4gt I'm a state representative or town representative of some sport.

I 4gt every lie I told. 

I 4gt every promises I made. 

I 4gt the reason why I want to stay alive.

Insecure

I feel insecure here, everything is like a dream.Things could chg upside down suddenly.
Hearing my fren talked about the others matter(negative), reli making me worried.
We were like close fren yesterday.......
Mayb one day u wil treat me like the way u treat the others, I have trauma on tat.
This reli pissing me off.
YOU look at me with the doubts in ur eyes reli making me freak out.
Making me felt tat I'm a LIER to u .
I felt insecure even though u're jz by my side talking about the other's matter.
I felt insecure after we end the conversation.( mayb I said smth wrong)
I felt insecure and lonely inside. . .( I'm nt being myself/scare to be myself)
Can someone save me here?
plz....
I'm scare to abandon by the others. . .
Although this is nt the 1st time....
I dun wan to abandon by the others again,
I'm scare.