I just don't want to get addicted

Yea, you're bullshitting at me.
and I just remain silence.
why?
Coz I'm such a loser, I don't even dare to give a  f*ck?
Yea, I guess so .
Till today I realized.
I just don't want to get addicted .
addicted in scolding people.
Or have a fight with people.
I'll enjoy it. It's true
yea, I know I'm such a moron.
please don't f*ck with me.
Stay away from me!

YG FAMILY CONCERT 2011 - BIGBANG - I AM THE BEST

This is so cute!!

Once a month

I don't really know why I have this kind of feeling.
Maybe just because my "aunt" is coming to visit me soon.
One of me guinea pig was found dead last Friday.
She just lied down there quietly,leave peacefully without saying  goodbye.
I feel very guilty.
I just wasted all my time on my bed.
Sleep for the whole day doing nothing.
And I eat a lot.
feel like I'm abandon.
no one see me.
feel very lonely and helpless.
I need u,
please S.T.A.Y
dun leave.
plz

Back to school

So I went back to study last week.
Yeah, last week.
exactly 1 week.
Everything goes FINE.
I've been busy on the changing course stuff.
There're so many procedures to follow.
Luckily, I had settled all of it last friday.
Wee...I'm on the way to be a hacker!!
I'm learning computer security ,pengajian malaysia and German language this sem.
Computer security is much more hard to understand compared to the other 2 subjects.
but nvm, I'll take it as a challenge.
So how I spent my weekend?
Hm...my housemates and I decided to go pasar pagi early in the morning to grab some breakfast.
yea, so around 8.30 we started our journey to pasar. XD
of course by taxi...the uncle intro alot of food around there while he is driving.
he din join us. too bad~~
after that we went back home. and ......SLEEP.
we played monopoly until 3am the day before.
so all of us is quite tired.
woke up at 2pm.
then we played game together. (DDTANK)
haha.superfun!
at night ,after dinner we played boardgame and DDTANK again.
haha.
How about sunday?
I'm sick.
Just study and rest.

Dad's advice.

Once upon a time,One day while my dad is driving, 

he suddenly say: ling ar, u drive very fast izit?

me:er....

dad: mom said u drive very fast leh,

me: er.....

dad: don't drive so fast k? very danger.

me: er...ok.

then he speed up the car to 100km/h.

me:..........=.= WT_

SM

我深深地觉得我有SM倾向，
为什么好好的假期要去打工?
真的是超爱虐待自己。
我今天工作12小时，站了10小时。
两小时是吃饭。
我的脚。。
可怜的脚，为什么你的主人会是SM的呢?

Gamer fever.

So I found this website yesterday.

http://www.mangafox.com/games/

and I choose to play the DD Tank .

hehe. It's fun. 

you should try it.

We can battle!!

Car wash

I'll just make this simple.

 cause This make me happy.

I drove my car to wash this afternoon, so ..................

hm......I found it so funny, cause....

看着那些水一阵喷我的车，却不能喷到我.

the end~~

my simple happiness. 

Just stay positive and they'll(快乐） come to find u.

Happy holiday!

First of all, I'm still alive.Thanks for worrying.haha.

I din't update my blog ,it doesn't mean I'm dead.

so I'm kinda "enjoying" my sem break holiday. 

Today I counted how many days of holiday I have, >>36 days. 

which means 5 weeks + 1 day.

wow!But 16 had passed, still left 20 days.

Luckily , I found a job. 

I'm going to work as a promoter for 14 days starting from tmr.

hah! which means after I finished my worked, I still left 6 days.

Wee....Can't wait for it.. 

nah, I don't mean that I can't wait for the holiday to end. 

What I  meant was can't wait to spend the money I earn .ngek ngek. 

I want to buy myself many a give as reward for finishing my foundation studies. 

You should do that for yourself too.

Buy yourself a give after you achieve a target. 

yea, I know. You think this is what people do when they have no friends to buy them a give right?

nah! Whatever, I'm Happy. 

Exam result

The exam result is going out tmr .
I hope I can get the result I want.
can't even sleep well for tis few weeks.
argh!!!

Just In case you don't know

I'm so sorry that I couldn't go to penang with you all.
the reason is....
I might fail for my exam.
so the relationship is.....
if I fail I have to get back to school which means I don't have 3 weeks sem break, which means that I don't have the extra money to go for the vacation.
Cause I need the money for daily expenses, since I'm nt having the holiday.

Sincerely apologize by:
yl

suicide

I just finished my thermodynamics exam.
Started to worry, so I went online and check on my answer.
For your information, I only have to get 34marks out of 100 marks in order to pass this subject.
34 out of 100,easy huh?
yea, I thought so.
After searching online, and finish checking my marks.
The max marks I can get is only 36.
well, this doesn't mean that I can get exactly 36 marks, teacher marks referring to their marking scheme ,and I marks by referring my marking scheme. It is different.
such a tragedy.
after studying in this university, I feel so stupid.
I feel useless, I'm in sem 4 now.
my friends are in degree right now.
This is the 2nd time I take this subject.
which means this is a repeated paper.
And I still can't pass it.
such a shame.
I did a lot of careless mistake.
and I lost all the marks.
Now I understand why people kill them self due to stress.
Cause I want to do it too. . . .
Actually the main problem I want to suicide is not because of I'm stupid, I did nth well.
It's just I don't know how to face all my friends, face problem ,u know?
if you give me a chance to leave here and go to another place to study,
I won't think about suicide anymore.
why do I care about what my friend think about me so much?
if they are so called "friend", they should support me and don't look down on me right?
hm...yea, ok.
I'm fine now. back to study.
bye.

no mood to study

I have test tmr but I don't have the mood to study.
I believe everyone faces this problem before too.
so I google , and I found this.
http://www.studyskillsblog.com/tips-on-getting-your-mood-to-study/

So I'm going to try it on.
hope its works.
u may try it too.
gud luck!

somebody to love

Recently,
I try to find a lover around me.
Try to find ppl to concern about me.
yea, ppl surrounding concern about me.
But I don't know why I still don't feel enough.
I want more, more love.
I even chat with people in fb.
erm, nt stranger.
They are ppl I know in my uni.
I meant those guy are studying in the same school with me.
yea, of course, I din't get much attention/response from them.
the reason is I'm nt an attractive girl.
argh! I don't know when I can stop this s2p thing.
feel so embarrassed and cheap. Yuck!
What I can say is
I'm in the mood of I need somebody to love.
feel like singing, I need somebody to love, do u hear me?
I need somebody to love,somebody to love.....

somebody please rescue me. 

Meow~

Father's daughter

Someone frighten me so I can't sleep last night.
So I decided to call my family to talk.
Its 12am +
The 1st one I called is YYY.
she switched off her phone already.
Then I decided to call my house number.
nobody picked up.
Lastly I called YYM's phone.
Finally someone pick up the phone.
I was surprised because the one who picked up the phone is not my sister,
my dad is the one who pick up.
DAD: helllllllo?(sounds like woke up from dream)
Me: pa?
DAD: yes, why u're still awake? miss your boyfren(lol,still can jk while he is sleepy)
Me: pa, I tell you har, I did..........(then I explain why I cant sleep)
DAD: Ic, so you shud accept the consequences coz you've grown up already.
Me: O....
DAD: don't repeat what you've done wrong,think b4 you action.
Me: O.
DAD:k, its late already, go to sleep ,don't think too much.
Me: O,ok,bye bye.

I'm surprised my dad would actually talk to me and asked me what happen after he'v been woken up by me.
touched....touched.....
my tears dropped while I'm talking to him, it's been so long that I din't tell him what's happening around me.
knowing my father spending her dreaming time for me, this this......
I don't knw how to describe the feeling.
I'm just happy.
ha! I'm still my father's daughter, no matter how old I am and where I am.

Tragedy

My lecture told us someone in our university had suicided.
He stab himself by a knife for several times in a hypermarket within the Summit USJ mall in Subang Jaya.
According to the news, he was depressed. That's why he ended his life. 
Here is the link:
http://www.nanyang.com/node/371430?tid=460


http://www.mmail.com.my/content/78890-hypermart-suicide-poser

I'm quite sad after I heard this news , and I hope those people who need help or depressed can seek for help.
I heard another news from my lecture, last week one of my university student suddenly shouted and beat someone in the class while lecturer is teaching. Probably that student also suffer from depression, faced a lot of stress.

And I know a friend, her cgpa for the 2 sem is 3.9+. She also overstressed herself, and one day while lecturer is teaching, she suddenly felt hard to breath and almost faint.
She left uni now and seek for help.
after she is cure, she will come back and continue her study.
I hope she will be fine and come back soon.

Depressed will lead to death. 

So seek for help .

If you don't know where can u get help

follow this link:

www.befrienders.org.my

They offer hotline for u to call whenever you want to talk to someone. 

2ne1 Ugly

This song is so WAO~~
Wonderful+awesome+omazing.(haha, I create a new word)
love this song, fully express my feeling.

injured.

If you're my friend , you will know that I don't usually tell you what's on my mind. 

It's hard for me to say something that would actually hurt someone. 

Ha! if you don't agree, you don't even know me. 

There's something more hurtful that I din't tell, if you think that the things I told you is hurtful enough.

So recently, I'm so curious about how many friends would stay 

if I stop keeping  my anger and dissatisfied . 

Hm.......

I'm going to do the experiment, hope that the result won't disappoint me. 

I'm injured for a long time, I can't continue to be like this anymore. 

Well, maybe throughout this experiment I could know myself better. 

because I don' t really actually know, what kind of person I am. 

2ne1 clap your hands

the process of 2ne1 learning to dance this song. 

hope you like it.

part1

                                                                part2

Behind the mask

Well, I know some friends in this sem. 

nth special because I had met the special one in my 1st sem. XD

but I met one girl which is quite friendly ( I thought)

she came to know me and introduce herself to me, ask me what subject I'm taking ,which class and exchanged number with me. 

so....after some days, 

I Found out the reasons why she was being so friendly around.

江江江江～～she asked  me to sign attendance for her.

that was the 1st time, my phone was switched off. 

so I din got the chance to read her msg,

THUS din sign for her. 

the number 2 always came after 1....

er...I think you know what I  meant...

she asked me to sign for her again ...

I said ok, then I ask for her full name. 

dunno why, her message was accidentally deleted.

and I asked for her full name when I got the name list. 

She din reply, so I din't sign for her again. LOL.

I met her in the next day, and apologized that I din't sign for her. 

she said it's ok, but I know that is nt true. 

because she din't talk to me anymore.

现实啊，不是我不要帮她签，这是命运。

算了吧，我没有不爽你，也谢谢你让我知道这世界真的有这么现实的人。

Let the word V represent her, because there is another story about her.

which I'm going to tell when I'm free.

take care everyone.

the consequences

So after doing nth on the weekend, now it's about the time to accept the consequences..
I have to finish my report by today because the deadline is Tuesday.
(Due to I don't really have the time to finish it on Monday. )
and clean my room since I'm so lazy to clean it for the pass few days.
and.....
finish as much tutorials question as I can.
wear sport shoes to school started from tomorrow.T.T
cause my shoes is too smelly to wear.
I'm suppose to clean it on weekend, but I din't and thats why.
Everything you did have the consequences, think before you actually did it.
So I learn something now, I'm clear now after emo for 2 or 3 days.
started from Friday.
My weekend were ruined because of the staying awake until 5am.
I'm not going to do this on the coming Friday or sat or Sunday.
Haha, I know..the time for now is 3.3am but I'm still awake.
I'm trying to work on it, wake up early and sleep early.
Going to change my sleeping timetable.
I sleep for the whole day , I did nothing. (that's why I'm here )

I'm 19 now, I've grown up, I accept the consequences, I'm going to be an adult next year, not a teenager anymore.Learning not too complain and be independent for 2011. Complain sometimes might make you feel better but if you complain everyday, it'll  makes your life become meaningless(because you complain everything) then what's the bright sight of your life? forget about the bad things happen in your life and remember the good things,then you'll feel better. and another story, be independent, I believe most of the people thought that being independent means being alone. For example, I heard some of the people don't eat when there's no one there to accompany them to eat. That is so childish. I actually heard about this when I'm in a lift, 2 person's conversation. Which means there are people actually skip meal because of ....loneliness?
and sometimes I have my lunch alone in school, 1 of my friend(only 1, I'm glad only 1 of my friend have this immature thinking) she came and said, why eat alone? so pity, I rather don't eat if I have to eat alone. HA!
I said nothing, because 用沉默独孤他人的非议，在强者是一种风度，在弱者是聪明.I know you might think that there's no connection in between the examples I gave and independent, try to connect yourself la, since you read my blog for quite a long time already, I believe you will get it.

Make complain on every single thing doesn't change anything, living in a environment or situation that you dislike, there're 2+1 things you can do 1)leave 2) shut up and accept  3)change
I accept and face my failure, I'm proud of myself,
I faced it, not like the others, they just left.
I'm glad my dad asked me to stay here.
thx dad, I will try my best!
thx for everything dad.

Latly,I hope my postive thinking can last until end of this sem.XD
bless me.take care.

四个字

拜六礼拜的生活只能用四个字形容
行尸走肉。
I'm suppose to finish all my homework on this weekend,
end's up I did nothing.
希望明天会更好～
I'm suppose to blog about
something very meaningful.
But I din't.
sorry, sorry that I din't share anything nice in my blog.
I'm sorry,take care.

1st guitar lesson.

Wee. . . .
I get my guitar today.
blue color guitar.
haha. very handsome.
my teacher name Paul do some introduction to us about guitar.
on how to hold the guitar, girls got girls post and boys have their own post.
so the left hand finger shouldn't have long nail.
many of us cut our nail on the spot, and let Paul check.
lol....what a funny man.
After that we have some finger practice, the chromatic scale.
for 1 hour.T.T.
Found out my finger is so cacat, cannot listen to my order.
cant really point the correct string,
hmm....nvm,I wont give up!
Thats it for today.

Tae yang !

It's been so long I din't meet Tae yang in my dream again.
Maybe because I had change my desktop photo into big bang and not him.
So I change my wallpaper already.
hope I can dream of him tonight.XD

Stalker.

So today is the 1st weekend with myself.

decided to wake up early in the morning and go for jog. 

of course the plan is failed.haha!

woke up 12 in the afternoon. 

Today is special because the 1st thing I did wasn't switch on my computer. 

Yeah, hope I can manage not to count on my computer so often in my life. 

I want to have some changes.

I studied bio because the mid-term test is coming,

the date is confirmed which is next Wednesday. 

After that, I clean my bathroom. 

and turn on my computer on 3 or 4pm. 

Not that remember what time I actually turn it on. 

nvm, I din't turn it on to have fun. 

I print tutorial question.

and did some cleanup

After manage to finish my bio and math tutorial, 

then I started my journey to Tae Yang's life.

haha, http://alwaystaeyang.wordpress.com

Started to stalk him from 6.15 til...

Still don't know til what time..

cause I'm still stalking him.

waiting his video to load, that's why I'm here.

Found a very sexy photo of 

him.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

sexy right? or spicy?

yum!XD

Am I acting weird?

Am I?
what can I tel?
I'm getting to know more about myself, the true me.
or maybe not the true me.
maybe I changed.
I'm cruel now.
I solve problem with violence.
WHAT?
nah! I won't hit you,
don't scare.
For your information, I hide my feelings very well.
I don't tell people much about how I feel.
I just hide it, hide it to myself.
when it's full, my tears will fall at night.
and I'll scream silently.
That's why I can't have a roommate, because I can't make a sound
when I'm mad.
I want to scream loudly!
For now, everything changed.
yea! change, the only thing remain is I'm still hiding my feelings.
I'll just hit something, throw things .
OR imagine that I'm hitting people.
I hope I could stop this imagination one day...
Before it truly happen to my real life.
because...
Everything change.....
plz dun offend me.
I'm begging you for not getting yourself into trouble .
Or ending my life.
thanks.

sore throat

Sore throat again, I'm so painful.

this is the consequences after eating 1 full pack of french fries. 

yea,kongsi money with my sis and we brought a pack of french fries. 

I had abit of sore throat already, but I still eat it. 

and now....sore throat so badly!

I can't even talk. 

I'm not going to school today.

why? due to my sore throat?

yea, it is. 

And I'm having abit of flu,so it is better for me nt to

attend my class. 

Since I already ask my friend to sign for me . 

I'm am suffering!! argh!! can someone bring me to doctor now?

I don't want to cycle to the clinic, the weather is hot now!

I might faint when I'm almost reach the clinic. 

T.T

I know I shouldn't skip class, but

I have to make sure that I attend tmr class,since tmr class is much more important. 

so I made this sacrifice,I'm not going to talk today. 

I din't open my mouth to talk for 15 hours already ,lets make it 24 hours++

The end~

The next Malaysian top superhero

Well, I had "a" weird dream last night.
My friend came my house to play ping pong with me.
And I tried to catch the ball, but I couldn't catch it.
I'm so pissed, that's embarrassed.
And it suddenly jump to another scene.
I'm with some1 in a hall,judging people.
Yea,judging people who want to be the next Malaysian top superhero.
LOL.
I can't believe it, who comes out with this stupid idea?
and I'm the judge. Damn stupid.
after the audition.
jump scene again.
Many people is playing on the beach.
well, I said playing because.....
Actually everyone is waiting for the Tsunami.XD
and see who can survive.
Yeah!! What a dream ?!
Did I survive? yea! cause later I jump into another scene again.
There are some hot girls, and the ....
I'm so stupid ,I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid in love~~~~
My alarm rang! thats big bang (I'm so stupid ) ringtone.
The end.~~

PS: my dearly ym ,if you're reading this.plz cook porridge for me tmr.T.T
I don't have voice, sore throat jor.thx.

If I die before tmr

"If tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see,
if the sun should rise and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,as much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.

But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name,
and took me by the hand,

And said my place was ready,
in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind
all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
a tear fell from my eye,
for all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,
so much left yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad;
I thought of all that we shared,
and all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
just even for a while,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home,
when God looked down and smiled at me,
from His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity,
and all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
but here life starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day is the same way,
there's no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true,
though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven,
and now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand,
and share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart "

May God watch over you and your family now and always. There is no
right time to do the wrong thing. . . there is no wrong time to tell
someone you care.





written by saif khan

8/6 hepi birthday .I'm 19! finally~

I love the present -

thx to pkm,ym,shook ling and shireen.

I reli love tis present.

and especially the card.

the decoration is so nice,

I believe tat it tooks alot of time to design it so nicely.

thx for the card, and photo of big bang!XD

and of course the album!

love you all,muacks!

thx for ym for coming my house to celebrate my birthday too.

ngek ngek.XD

I feel good.

For some reason , I feel good today.
but wat reason?
I dunno .
I'm just in the mood of feeling good.
So here is a video I'm about to share.
Hope this would help u to feel good and nice.

14th may

Mom and dad went to Genting early in the morning.
So I'm going to babysit my 2 naughty sister again!
Today is a marathon for me cause my sis is having a tuition marathon.
her tuition schedule as shown below:
8-10 am: delta HQ
10-12am: school band.
1-5pm : delta botanic.
Me as a driver rushed here and there to fetch her.
Went kp to meet my frens.
Met huilian,sally,ss,xinyi,maevin.^^
We played bowling and went to setia alam pasar malam at night.
It was fun! argh! I can't tel u much, coz I 4gt the feeling ad.
Check out my facebook for more photo.haha!
I knw I'm lame, sorry if this border u.

13rd may

Today I went to genting v  my beloved pkm.
Hehe, we had a lot of fun.
We bought indoor ticket but
it is not worth for it.
bcoz many of the machine is
under maintenance .
Din get a chance to play roller coaster!
But nvm, we stil had fun.
We had alot of window shopping,
and we bought smth very affordable.^^
I found this very funny.
睡眠是一门艺术，事业无法阻挡我追求艺术的脚步。XD
it cost me only RM4.9.
the necklace cost me RM6.9 and the ring cost me RM1.
damn cheap.haha.
For more photo,plz visit  http://talktoknation.blogspot.com/2011/05/day-in-genting-highland.html
(I'm lazy to upload so many photo.XD）

happy day~~

Wee..guess what today I rcv my 1st birthday present.HAHA!
Janelle send me a pair of socks from Korea,XD
We thought the socks was stolen or lost.
But I rcv it tis afternoon.
Dunno how to express my feeling with words.
What can I say other than I m so hepi!!
thx Janelle.^^

Other than this ,I rcv my exam result today,
ALL PASS.
mayb u dun think tis is smth would make u  hepi,
bt it makes me feel hepi.
dad dun giv much response for me,
he said my gpa very low.
nah,nvm.he cnt take away my hapiness!
hahahha,won't let any1 steal my hapiness today!seriously!!

I'm going to genting tmr.

EXCITED!XD

I'm invisible.

Have u ever feel invisible in ur life?
Is like u were bside ur fren or in a party,
bt no1 noticed ur presence.
I found a place make me invisible.
yea! there is a place.
is that gud or bad?
I'll take it as gud then.
Well, my result was out today or mayb yesterday.
Nah ,no 1 inform me or ever ask me how was my result.
yea~~ nobody cares.
Hm...they did asked each other.
NVM, I dun care! DO I ?
yea, I care but what can I say?
ppl dun care about u, what can u do?
hmm...jz think positively.
I'm invisible in front of u, u cant sense my presence.
nvm, I'll just stay invisible
be quiet, enjoy my life without any interrupt from u then.
HMM...since when I think so positively?
XD

Dream of BIG BANG ep2

Yea, I'm on BIG BANG fever recently.
I dream about them last night.
all the 5 members.
I bought 2 albums.
1 is TAE YANG solo album and the other 1 is BIG BANG .
So I got the chance to ask them sign for me on the album.
I ask Seung Ri to sign on the album 1st then Dae Sung, GD ,Tae yang
and lastly  TOP.
So the dream was great til tis moment.
So after metting with them.
I went home.
and all the signature was GONE.
OMG!!!!!!!!!
Then only I realize that they sign on the plastic of the album.
not on the cover.
so the signature easier to erase/rub/dissapear.
all the signature are GONE~T.T
then I woke up.
what a 'perfect' dream.

Dream of BIG BANG ep1

6/5/2001

Hehe,guess what I dream of BIG BANG TOP yesterday,XD
We met on a coffee shop, listening a song called CAFE.
yeah~Big bang song.
hehe.
I try to communicate with him in eng bt he dun understand.
nvm...we just sit down and look at each other.
Then I get a chance to hug him.
OWH!!!!
HE IS SO HOT~~~
feel sorry to my TAE YANG coz I hug another guy.
feel so gud after I woke up.
hope tat I could dream about TAE YANG the next day.
TAE YANG is my guy.
XD
Bt dream of TOP was great also. XP

3rd,4th of may

3rd of May ,
I did nth except fetching both of my sis here and there.
Being a driver for the whole day
this is wat I rmb.
I'm nt complaining.
I'm hepi too, I have the chance to help my mom
to do some hse work.
So that she can relax abit.XD
The end for 3rd of may.

So here comes to 4th of may,
Went for movie in the afternoon with peck yee.
hehe, we both so ngam wear the same color cloth.
Watched the roommate,its kinda nice.
The journey was kinda rush,dun get the chance to walk in slow motion.
our movie til 5.35.
I have to fetch my sis from scholl at 6.30
mana tahu I'm jam in KU for almost 45mins.
At last, asked my dad to fetched my sis.
Luckily din get scold.
PHEW~~
The movie quite nice, u shud watched it.
Here is the trailer. ^^

2nd

2nd of may.
Morning-read story book
afternoon-stil playing game
night-stil playing game
But I do rmb smth happen tat night.
yeah!We went for a family dinner again.T.T
Haiz..
family dinner.
What I hate the most is they use their spoon to pick up/take/took
their food.
There was a spoon on the plate,why dun u jz use tat spoon ?
It turns out I only eat rice.
There was a plate of abalone in front of me.
Bt I dun eat it,coz it was disgusting!
yuck!
haiz...why can't we have family dinner on MC.D ? or we have buffet.
that wil be great!!
MC.D i'm lovin' it.

1st of may labour day

yea,1st of may is labour day.
Its sunday.
My grandmom knw I came back from kampar.
So she cook asam laksa.
WEE~~~
haha!!My ah ma asam laksa is the best
So touched that she cook asam laksa for me.
Time past so fast, I dun even knw what I had did.
1st of may jz ended up like tat.
did nth useful. XD
bt I'm hepi.

29th and 30th.

Its been almost a week my holiday had started.
It started from last Friday.
My ktm delay for 1 hour and 20mins, it make me reach home at 11.45,almost 12am midnight~~
I'm suppose to be here at 10.30 if the ktm din delay.
well,nvm.
Friday jz end up like tat,morning-study
                                    noon-exam
                                    night-ktm.
30/4/01(sat)
Woke up early in the morning jz wanted to have breakfast with my dad.
It's been awhile that I din hav breakfast with him.
Pity him have to take his breakfast alone.XD
Force myself to wake up althought I'm TIRED.
My dad said/sms me smth very touched,so this make me wan to
accompany him for breakfast.
I told him I had tried my best in my exam, and I dunno whether I wil pass or not.
Then he replied, nvm, as long as u had tried ur best,that's enuf.
^^ touched touched.
I saved the msg as memo.^^

In the noon, I hand out with my beloved frens.
We went to neway !!
reli hav a lot of fun with them.
Every1 had chg in physically and mentally.
HAHA!!
michelle bcum girl girl ad.
pkm bcum more mature
shireen bcum more gentle and cute.
shook ling bcum more talkative.
she talk quite alot that day, most of the time in the past she only ask question.
tat day she answered question.XD
and angel, jz met her for 30mins.
Hm.....same same.....

Went for a family dinner at night,dun eat much.
Hm....family dinner.....u knw?
jz like tat,nth to comment.
the old 1 talk and eat.
me (the young 1)
eat and look them talk,
jz like tat.

The end~~

Once a failure, forever a failure.

I felt so embarrassed about my results.
Its jz the matter of EGO.
I knw.
tis year wont be a gud year for me.
bcoz i hav to face my failure in this whole year or may 3/4 year.
yea, its long.
Dunno why i felt embarrassed about facing my own failure.
I hate it.!!!
feel like giving up.
bt I cant.
haiz..一失足成千古恨~

live in dream

I'm perfect in my dream. 

I have frens,

I have money, 

I have family, 

I have lover, 

I have gud apperance, 

I have great job, 

I speak well, 

Most importantly, I'm confident there. 

BUT once I woke up, my dream end. 

I hope I could live there, 

and this might be the reason why ,

ppl who lose consciousness "cnt" wake up....

mayb they're nt willing to wake up. 

Because they're having their perfect life in their dream 

while they're "sleeping".

Short term memory loss

I realize that my memories had become poorer, and sometimes I can't recall back smth clearly.

Mayb I faced short term memory loss, or maybe not. 

Memory loss is the inability to adequately store a particular memory. It is the failure to retain or recall the information.

Commonly also referred to as amnesia, memory loss can be described as a degree of forgetfulness or failure to recall past events which is above the normal level.

At times, memory loss is limited to an inability to recall events that are recent, but sometimes it could also be for events from the past or both.

And the reaason I faced this might be depression. 

Severe psychological stress can push a person beyond his/her coping abilities can cause memory loss among other mental disturbances. Research reveals that stress hormones kill or inhibit the growth of brain cells adversely affecting memory. The more prolonged the depression, the more extensive the damage.

I 4gt what I said to my fren yesterday and I can't recall back. 

I 4gt I'm a state representative or town representative of some sport.

I 4gt every lie I told. 

I 4gt every promises I made. 

I 4gt the reason why I want to stay alive.

Insecure

I feel insecure here, everything is like a dream.Things could chg upside down suddenly.
Hearing my fren talked about the others matter(negative), reli making me worried.
We were like close fren yesterday.......
Mayb one day u wil treat me like the way u treat the others, I have trauma on tat.
This reli pissing me off.
YOU look at me with the doubts in ur eyes reli making me freak out.
Making me felt tat I'm a LIER to u .
I felt insecure even though u're jz by my side talking about the other's matter.
I felt insecure after we end the conversation.( mayb I said smth wrong)
I felt insecure and lonely inside. . .( I'm nt being myself/scare to be myself)
Can someone save me here?
plz....
I'm scare to abandon by the others. . .
Although this is nt the 1st time....
I dun wan to abandon by the others again,
I'm scare.

Born this way lyrics.

Intro:
It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'Cause you were born this way, baby

Verse:
My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir
"There's nothin wrong with lovin who you are"
She said, "'cause he made you perfect, babe"
"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say"

Chorus:
I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way

Post-chorus:
Ooo there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Baby I was born this way
Ooo there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way

Don't be a drag - just be a queen
Don't be a drag - just be a queen
Don't be a drag - just be a queen
Don't be!
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/l/lady_gaga/born_this_way.html ]
Verse:
Give yourself prudence
And love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice your truth
In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth
A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-I-M (hey hey hey)
I love my life I love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah (love needs faith)

Repeat chorus + post-chorus

Bridge:
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby you were born this way
No matter gay, straight, or bi,
Lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made
I'm on the right track baby
I was born to be brave

Repeat chorus + post-chorus

Outro/refrain:
I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way hey!

I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way hey!